Thursday, October 28, 2010

Life is a Balance of Holding on and Letting Go

Last night I went to Transfer to say goodbye to two people whom I have come to respect and admire so much over the last year and a half.  Transfer is the youth ministry at the church I used to go to.  I began helping as a youth leader in November 2008.  After just a couple of months of being there, the youth pastor that had been there for a while announced that he was moving to another church in Oklahoma City, and shortly after, a young couple, Rob and Bethany, came to us from Florida. They had never served as youth pastors anywhere before, so I think everyone was a little skeptical at first...but they took on the challenge by storm.  Mind you, Transfer averages about 150 high school and junior high students on any given Wednesday night...most of which come from very tough backgrounds and from families who do not attend church. To put it mildly, some of these kids are an absolute mess (aren't we all...), but I love them more than I can even begin to put into words.  But Rob and Bethany came in with a strong vision and a passion for the Lord and for these kids.  They transformed that group of students into a community of young people who have a passion for life and a hunger for their Savior.  They have decided to leave Transfer so that they can focus on their marriage...which is so beautiful to me...they are prioritizing the most important ministry God has ever given them.

It was not that long ago...about a month ago actually...that I decided to step down from the leadership team at Transfer.  It was for a variety of reasons...a lot of which had to do with needing to focus more on school, and some other stuff that happened to be going on in my personal life.  As much as I knew it was the right thing to do in this season of my life, needless to say, it was also extremely difficult.  I love those kids, and a couple of them in particular...I honestly couldn't imagine my life without them. One of them in particular has (and continues to) leave a footprint on my heart that will never go away.  She has a had some really difficult things to deal with...and it has been such a blessing to me to encourage her through those times, challenge her to seek God and remind her that she's not allowed to give up, and see the drastic improvements that she is making in her life to become the person that God created her to be.  I am so proud of her.

Anyways, I digress...

I am learning more and more about how life is a balance of holding on and letting go.  I truly believe that the Lord takes us through seasons...some good, and some bad...because that is exactly what He wants for us at that specific time. Over the past year or so, and especially over the last couple months, I feel like I have gone through a lot of seasons...some of them I couldn't wait to get out of, some of them I had to practically be yanked away from.  Now it's time to enter the new seasons...I have so many exciting things to look forward to (and in some cases, some things to dread...haha..yay for PhD dissertation and defense!) and I am so thankful that no matter what my season...God has a plan and purpose for my life.  He has taught me what it means to depend on Him, and to love others in the season that THEY are in.  He has also shown me that it's okay to lean on someone else once in a while.  I have always been Little Miss Independent...and that is something that I believe is one of my strongest qualities and my biggest flaws, one in the same.  But I have to say...God has blessed me beyond my own belief with an incredible man who shows me every day that sometimes it is safe to throw your entire heart out there and lean on someone else when you need to.  I have never felt so loved, so honored, so confident, so cherished...and so gracious.

Time to look forward to the new seasons....I don't know about you, but I'm excited about the road ahead!

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